That Chinese Tourist I Told You About.....

I have this knack...  I can be minding my own business, making waffles in a hotel lobby; and sure enough a confrontation strikes!  I get this from my Grandma.

It's like that one time, The Hubs and I were being nostalgic and hit up one of our favorite restaurants, back in my home town.....

There is no way I could have forecasted my encounter with an employee of the same corporation as my brother, in a WINE ISLE!  no less.........  It's like kismet!  This is where you visualize The Hubs shaking his head and wiping his brow as he reminisces the event........ 

This is also where I strike up a completely random conversation that involves my suggestion of good wine, and my brother......

And then I totally go home with a business card from this dude and a recommendation for my brother...

Because if I am awesome!............

So should be my siblings!

But that has nothing to do with my morning, on this fateful day.......

Instead, I am in Virginia, at our hotel.  And I am just doing my own thing, making waffles and hoping like heck my kids don't wreck the hotel lobby........

Out of nowhere, some lady asks me about the origin of American waffles......

Well.....  I have a funny story, and she has a very limited understanding of the English language.....

So, my funny story was lost.

My kids all sat in the lobby starring at me as if I totally lost my marbles.  And I stood there making hotel waffles and chatting up a complete stranger.

The woman I am conversing with, well, all she got out of the conversation is I know someone from Taiwan....

This is where I should shout out to that dude!  And his new wife!  And his future baby!

Hot Dang! 

You are having a baby!

Ok....

I am good now.

Long story short.  I made 4 waffles and a friend.  My kids and The Hubs all stood there starring at me as if I had lost my mind......

I think it is probably a good idea that I don't mention the Russian Family I befriended in the bathroom at the Smithsonian Museum of Air and Space..... 

That story requires space travel and possibly a tardis.....  :)

I Got All Comfortable And Was Ready To Fall Asleep.....

And then my brain turned on, and now here I am. 

I guess I should blog, or something.

This Summer, The Hubs and I decided we would take our offspring on a road trip to our Nation's Capital! 

So, at the end of July, we loaded up the Swagger Wagon, and headed on up (errr North).  With stops along the way.  There were cool parks, national and state parks, and lots and lots of historic sites...  And these places called "Sheetz" that are like gas stations and fast food restaurants in one....  Being a Texan, I was intrigued.  They were almost as cool as Bucky's, but not quite.

I didn't learn this until recently, but Texans have a reputation for their affinity of gas station convenience stores.  Which, I actually get, but then again, I regularly drive clear across Texas.  But, there is more on that later.  I need to get back to the main idea.

Our kids are seasoned pros at road trips now, and when they talk about long drives, it's like they are old men talking about how they walked 15 miles to school in the snow, uphill with the wind gusting against them.  Barefoot. 

Alex in particular is really good at channeling his inner cranky old man.

 On to Washington!  Sort of, we stopped a lot.

The Hubs is a big history buff, and so that means we stop a lot to check out our heritage over the centuries.  We have visited many battle fields in our near decade out here in the Deep South.  Both Revolutionary, and Civil War battles have infiltrated our vacations for many years.  On this particular trip, we encountered the Carolina Mountain Men at Kings Mountain; which were a pivotal part of the success of the Revolutionary War.  They basically got pissed off and then "handled it", so to speak.

This stop was followed up with an attempt at checking out the Appomattox Court House.  I saw a court house in Appomattox County, but it wasn't the right one.  I guess the one The Hubs talked so much about, is no longer standing.  So, instead, we toured the museum where Ike and Warren took turns pretending to shoot each other with a replica cannon.

To finish off our first day on vacation, we checked into our hotel where The Hubs didn't get upgraded, since there was a crowd of Chinese tourists and a High School Softball team that also decided they wanted to stay at our hotel as well.  But I will save my story of how I made friends with a random Chinese tour guide for tomorrow......  :)

I have to say, I really like living on the East Coast.  Having grown up in West Texas, and I have strong appreciation for frequently change of scenery, all the small towns and little stops along the way, and the fact that it's not 6 hours of flat dry desert between gas stations.  Ah, see, I told you there would be more.

I also like it when The Hubs is able to travel with us.  This allows me the opportunity to channel my inner infant and snuggle into my seat, while dozing off and drooling onto my window.....  Because that is what other drivers look forward to witnessing, as we pass each other!

And now, that you have a lovely visual of my sorry drooling snoring self.....  Good night!

It's All About The Snow

I live North of Atlanta.  In a lovely suburb, that is hilly and way out of the way.

I believe the Yankee's are claiming we only got a dusting.

But, I still have a few inches reincarnating as Ice Squared in my front yard.......

The Hubs, who is from a place where they get snow often, isn't phased by the stuff.

Even if he spent 16 hours stuck in traffic, trying to come home (not his fault).

Me. 

Yeah, that shit can melt now.  I'm totally cool with it melting....

And Ike, concurs.

But that is all I am going to say about that.

Ok, not really.

I got stuck on a hill, about halfway up. 

My choices were to continue to slide, uncontrolled into a ditch. 

Or just keep my foot pressing hardcore onto the break, until someone with something could rescue me.

I totally called the Sheriff, and reported myself, along with about 20 other drivers......  I was not alone.

I texted The Hubs.

And then I sat my butt in the middle of a hill, with my hazards on.  My foot firmly on the break. And my head freaking out. 


It totally could have been worse.  I could have been in a ditch.  I was surrounded by ditches.  Deep ditches!

But I am totally OK with my neurosis and anxiety, that parking my behind on the middle of a hill and blocking traffic, until a dude with a doolie and tow strap showed up; was an awesome resolution!

What did I learn?

1.  Driving in snow freaks me out! 

2.  Next time, I should just keep my kids home and not attempt carpool.  NO PROBLEM!

3.  Not to rely on others to make decisions I can make myself!

4.  Do not feel shame in being freaked out and admitting to it.  Especially if you are blocking others from making the situation worse.  Eventually, someone with 4-wheel drive, a tow strap, and no fear will pull you out.

5.  There are AWESOME people in the world.

6.  If you live on my street, someone has wine and is willing to share......

7.  If I go to bed now, I still get to sleep in some!  Again!

Good Night!

Livin' La Vida De Un Ama De Casa Suburbana......

Last night was a Cheetos and Cheap Wine kind of night.

I don't normally indulge in Cheetos.  

Sometimes, if I am feeling particularly in need of some serious self-medication, I add chocolate Chips into the rotation too.

Don't worry, no New Years Resolutions were sacrificed as a result of my actions.

Moops has been sick for a month now, and we still don't know why.

The poor kid has had an MRI, CT Scan, Lumbar Puncture, Multiple Blood Draws....  And yet he still has no actual diagnosis. 

His last set of blood work came back all wonky, so now they are pulling out the next level of tests.  Dr House kind of tests, and specialists that apparently have some sort of magical Mystery Machine Super powers that will hopefully figure the kid out.  The kind of specialists that are exempt from the shenanigans of insurance companies.  And just charge a fee upfront, for an hour of their time.  A really BIG fee.  The kind that lawyers only dream of.

Meanwhile, he hasn't been attending school.  Which means all school work is on me to enforce.  And this just reinforces my realization that my prospects as an educator are definitely best never accomplished.

Alex and Izzy have Science Fair due this week.  And they compete next week with their Technology Team.  I normally find a lot of joy in torturing my kids with projects they don't really want to do.  I have kind of slacked on the torture though.

Alex LOVED LOVED LOVED making his stop motion movie.  He is already scheming on his next project.  I can't wait to share!

And we have discovered that while a solar oven is a functional appliance.  Fire is still the way to go, as it took a few several hours for Izzy's cookies to finish baking. 

Oh and I dropped Ike's Mega Bloks Battle Scape.  I guess I will be rebuilding that, in order to end the lectures from my 6 year old.  He lectures like my Dad does......

And our refrigerator died!  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.....

But I would like to end off on a positive note.  And I can!

We have amazing family and friends!

I have siblings that would drop what they are doing to be by my side.  And they would set aside their differences, in order to make sure we were all good to go.  They would even give me what free time they have to make everything better.

I have an awesome Mom and Dad, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, and Cousins....  And even my In Laws!

And we have amazing friends, the kind that give awesome booby squishing 100% love hugs.  The kind that make jello because they know the Moops LOVES his jello.  And the kind that would drop everything, if we asked them to.

That there makes up for everything else life can dish out. 

And it is the very reason why The Hubs is willing to have an hour+ commute to and from work every day.

Captain Awesome...

Moops shall hence forth be referred to as Captain Awesome.....

 

Is that grammatically correct?

 

Meh.

 

I don't care. 

 

He looks awesome in his aviator shades.

 

 

Captain Awesome had an unfortunate turn of events today.

 

He scratched his cornea. 

 

When the Dr (whom talked about herself in the third person) did the orange dye and black light, it was pretty shocking.

 

And kind of science fiction-y gross.

 

And then, we had to crack some pirate jokes.....

 

He still wants to be called "Captain Awesome"

 

"Captain One Eye"

 

"Blonde Haired"

 

"Captain Moops"

 

None were sufficient Pirate names.

 

So, "Captain Awesome" it is.

 

By the way. 

 

If you take a 7 year old to the Ophthalmologist, sporting mirrored aviator shades...

 

The nurses go crazy.

 

And then Tom Cruise freaks out...

 

'Cause he knows that means "Top Gun" is going to be remade.

 

By a 7 year old.

 

 And it would be Awesome!

 

 

Our House... Is A Very Very.. Uh... House...

I just told my Daughter to stop smearing Macaroni and Cheese on her brother's toes.....

Then Ike asked "how many peas do I have to eat?"

I said "15"

He asked...  "what if I eat 2 at a time?"

Then Izzy said.... "you have to eat 15 forkfuls."

It took him a while, and his siblings made it harder.  But he eventually realized he could put 1 pea on the fork, at a time, and all would be good.

Moops keeps complaining that his back hurts.  So, I looked at it.  It looks like carpet burn.  And there was a situation this afternoon, that involved him being dragged across the living room floor. 

That situation was before he was sent to his room for sticking his hand in Izzy's trumpet while she practiced, which is related to Moops being dragged across the living room floor...

He is convinced the previous situation is not the cause of the carpet burn.  And I should probably take him to the doctor to make sure it's not cancer, or an "std".....

Yup.

Bovine Equality

Ike took particular interest in my dinner preparation tonight. 

He eats very little meat, as it is.  And really isn't very interested in it, at all.

I always figured it was because he didn't like the taste, or something along those lines.

But, that doesn't seem to be the case.

This evening we had tacos, which meant a cow sacrificed it's life for our enjoyment.  And this really bugged Ike.

He asked me......  "Why do you eat meat?"

I answered......  "I like meat."

He stated......  "Yeah, but that cow probably isn't happy that it was killed and you are eating it."

I replied.......  "You are probably right."

He continued........  "Maybe that cow wanted to live a long time and make milk for everyone to drink, instead."

I replied....... "Not all cows can make milk, only female cows can be dairy cows."

Ike reacted.......  "WHAT?!?!?!  That's not fair!"