Moments Of Mommy Failure

We all have them, on occasion.  In my experience these failures occur mostly when your brain is functioning faster than your body.  It's like your brain checks off the list of tasks before your body reacts to the order.

Like when you are attempting to get 4 kids into your car, all of their belongings, and your purse.  Check.  Check.  Doh!  Im sorry annoyed cashier person, my wallet is still at home........

Or, when you are in the process of cooking with your kids, and you have 8 busy hands "helping".  As you put ingredients away, you wonder why you have more eggs than anticipated.  20 minutes later you realize the eggs never made it into cupcakes, and you will be serving iced hockey pucks to Moops' class for his birthday......

And then there are those moments where you even plan AHEAD, are diligent about your actions and utilitize all OCD organizational tools available to you.  And maybe even, you get up 30 minutes early to insure you are on top of it all.  Only to greet your 5 year old as he steps off the bus wearing only a t-shirt in freezing temperatures.  You then sigh deeply and ask if he forgot his jacket at school.  He says "nope, I never had it", and you are totally perplexed.  And then as you walk in through your frontdoor, hanging to the left is his jacket.  The one you fished out in advance and set next to the door so you would not foget. 

Now, that is what is called a Mommy Fail.

These Mommy Fails are different than Daddy Fails.  For one, Moms tend to feel lifelong afflicted overwhelming guilt and shame for these missteps in parenting.  Dads, are less likely to feel guilty over these incidents, they shake it off and move on.

Now Daddy Fails, those are different.  And well, Dads probably do not consider them Fails either.  They view them more as anal retentive expectations bestowed upon them by their OCD PMSing Spouse....  Some good examples would be the little girl following Daddy through a store, wearing only her tights and top.  The skirt was determined excess and omitted from the previously arranged laid out ensemble left by the OCD PMSing Spouse.  Handing your 4 year old a can of fruit, instead of spooning fruit into bowl, the intention is to save yourself from having to wash dishes.  Your OCD PMSing Spouse does not agree. 

Now, if you will excuse me.  Izzy is in need of assistance with staying on task, of she will risk what is called a Homework Fail......

Giving Thanks To My Pillow

That is what I did this afternoon.  My pillow was feeling neglected, with all that was going on this week.  So, this afternoon I made sure that it too was forwarded the gratitude it undoubtedly deserves.

The insanity started on Monday, with the kids having the entire week off from school. 

Wednesday is when it got intense.  I first had to go to the Grocery Store to replenish my Thanksgiving ingredients, for the THIRD time......

Then it was time to make pies.  I made them from scratch!  At one point in time I had even picked apples myself, but those had already been eaten. So, we used apples we found in the produce section.

I totally rocked the pie crust!  It's only taken me the better part of a decade to figure out pie crust.  But I did it!  Just in time too!

This is my Apple Pie.  Is it not gorgeous!

I was nervous about the pumpkin.  When I filled the shell, I overfilled it a bit.  I was afraid it might spill over while cooking.  But with a big whew and a heavy sigh of relief, it came out pretty darn exceptional itself!

My Sister had to go into a Piggly Wiggly for this one. 

Apple Pie, nom nom nom.

Fresh Whipped Cream.

Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream.  NOM NOM NOM.

There was other food too. 

My Turkey.  He spent 6 hours in the Smoker with some Hickory.  May I just say, I didn't cause a fire this time around.......  And the bird was OUTSTANDING!

I admit I am a food snob.  And the thought of Green Bean Casserole on my table.  Well, no.  Not gonna happen.  Instead, we had this.  Green Beans and Mushrooms simmered in a Creamed White Wine Reduction.  And for my Sister, we got her a can of those French's Fried Onions to top it with.  It must have been good, I didn't get any.

It doesn't look nearly as grand as I had anticipated.  But we are all full and comatose. 

The Menu:

Hickory Smoked Turkey

Ham

Snobby Green Beans

Mashed Potatoes

Sage Giblets Gravy

Rolls

Canned Cranberry Sauce

Green Chile Chorizo Cornbread Stuffing

Twice Baked Sweet Potatoes with Sour Cream and Buttered Brown Sugar

And those French Fried Onion Thingies

This was After.....

Pixie knows who to hit up for a little bit of the good stuff.

Moops and his Uncle Jake

Leftovers!

Pixie is a Dumpster Diver....

Ella and Pixie seem to be confused.  Pixie thinks she is a lap dog and Ella thinks she is a Mastiff.  Hence the switching of bowls...

Food Coma Ella Style.

Food Coma Pixie style.

We introduced the kids to Tetris and Classic Super Mario.  They still kicked our butts.

Duuuuuuude.

My Sister and I had a deep conversation on how our parents broke us with their OCD laundry skillz.  But that is a whole post on its own.

We also went to the museum, where we encountered this dude.  It is so awesome I took a picture.  I am now going to print it, frame it and hang it over the kids' Time Out Spot!

I call this the "Stalker House", no matter where you walk, it follows you.  It is the coolest optical illusion I have ever seen!

Socks

This is the week of Thanksgiving.  I'm really excited, because Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  What other holiday is solely about enjoying the family you have and the food to feed them.  There are no extravagant gifts, no exciting events (aside from football).  It's about family and feast. 

Earlier today I found an article about being a kid in England during World War II.  The writer talked about creating games out of rocks, collecting used cigarette packages and how much fun he had as a kid.  In a War Zone.  My Grandmother has similar stories, but she grew up in Germany during WWII.  Even with all the destruction and violence surrounding them, they both recall their childhoods as happy and productive.

Now, while my children grew up during a time of War.  Stepford was far from a War Zone.  And even with The Hubs fighting in the War, our kids were not exposed to the actual War itself.  Their experience was sheltered, consisting of me being there for them and activities to support our troops. 

And what do we face?  The desire for Ipads and Video Games.  And matching socks.

One story that really sticks with me, is when my Grandmother told me about how she learned how to knit.  She was so excited, she didn't care what kind of yarn she got, as long as she could knit.  So, most of the socks she made were far from coordinated.  But you know what, those socks went to soldiers who needed them and didn't not give a care as to how well they matched their uniforms.  Im sure the same would be true of our troops today.  Quality vs coordination......

And to this day my Grandmother still makes things, granted, there is a lot of purple involved.  But everything is made with that same energy and effort.  And that is what makes it special.  Well, that and the fact that there is no one else waltzing about in a purple felt fedora, not even Prince!

Hug your loved ones this year, give them matching socks, and let them dictate what entertains them this season. 

While I agree that Steve Jobs was an incredible individual.  I also think that holding back and letting your kids create an iPad out of a pad of paper and pencil may just be as innovative as the iPhone you might be reading this on.....

And in addition.  I think it is hilarious that iPad and iPhone were included in my spell check........

'Twas Frieday Night

'Twas Frieday Night and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, we got that damn mouse. 

Little white socks strewn about with no care, all in the hopes that Mom would swoop in and clear.

The kids were all nestled snug in their beds, with visions of Xbox and TV in their heads.

Mom with her wine and me with my night cap, we settled on in for a quick shortlived nap.

When out in the hallway arose such a clatter, we rolled on over and hoped it wouldn't matter.

And that is as far as I am going to get....

I had fun with Alex tonight.  He was invited to a Birthday party, and it was a lot of fun!  I was pressured into participating as well.  So, on came the vest, and out came the lasers.  And get this,  Alex asked to be on my team!  Whimper, sigh, verklemping a bit.....

Next thing I know, Im perched up top one of those jumping inflatable thingies shooting at little kids like a sniper.

This was followed by a carniverous inhalation of pizza and soda, and my stealing of fudge icing off of Alex's cupcake.

And then the finale'

The Game "House"....

Im pretty sure this is what Alex dreams of everynight.

1500 square feet of flat screens and Xbox's all networked together.  With a single row of Recliners.  All so you and 15 of your closest friends can descend onto each other in what can only be referred to as a Super Mega Halo Campaign.

The Birthday Boys Mom attempted to play.  I declined as those new fangled contraptions they call controllers are just too much for my fried brain to manage.  We joked about Ataris and NES' as the guy who worked there pretended to know what we talked about. 

Alex on the other hand.  He has a bit of Napoleon in him.  He climbed the Halo Ranks fast and found himself as the commander, or something along those lines.  All in 20 minutes.  He then stood at attention as he proceeded to kick everyone's butt that fought against him.  A proud moment I am sure I am supposed to have.  I just have to wrap my brain around it first. 

His successful campaign must have something to do with the war table he has set up in his room....

All in all it was a fun night.  I hope we can do it again.

Turkeys, Face Paint, and One More Day Before The Weekend.....

Izzy has been singing for the last 20 minutes while doing her chores.  First it was Patriotic Songs in her most Operatic Voice she could muster.  We are now on old school Hannah Montana and other Artists I am not entirely sure of.  Bedtime is very very soon.  Thank Goodness.

Today was Moops' Theatrical Debut.  He was an Indian and his line was "Big and Brave".  He was the BEST Indian in the whole production.  I can say that because I am his Mom.

Here is Moops enjoying his Thanksgiving Breakfast Feast.  He still has his war paint on.

After the play was over, Moops schmoozed me into bringing him home early.  And then he and Ike got into a heated battle involving a wooden dachshund pull toy and a cowboy hat.  My house now looks like the toy box exploded.  Well, actually it did, Moops climbed into it and then burst out, thus sending toys in all directions.  He did this just before he made an attempt at sleding in the toy box down our stairs.  The toy box has since been confiscated until further notice.

I wonder if my neighbors heard me screaming.

Then I went out and got the mail.  In the mailbox was a suspicous looking package with The Hubs' name on it.  Inside the package is this thing called a Monkey Fist.  Its a hard little ball on a string.  Had I known such an item would keep The Hubs entertained, I would have attached one to his cage years ago...

And Finally.  Bedtime.

Good Night Shark. 

Good Night Reggie The Technicolor Dinosaur

Giraffey, you and I need to have a little chat about you hogging all the blankets....

Cause Ike's Baby is cold!

My Grandma Says....

That those assholes that are making employees show up at night so they can open at midnight on Black Friday are well...... Assholes.

I'm paraphrasing of course.  My Grandmother wouldn't say "asshole" unless of course you pissed her off enough for her to blurt it out.  Actually, no that isn't true.  She would.  Or she would call you a "That Broad" if you are a woman......

But you get the gist of her opinion.

And I agree.  One Super Gazillion Bazillion QuadraMillion Percent!

For one.  You can rest assured that my overfed quite possibly hungover behind will NOT be shopping AT ALL on Black Friday.  For 4 reasons.

1.  I have absolutely no desire to turn our holiday season into a reality show.  We have Kim K. for that.

2.  There is nothing on this planet, or my kids' Santa's Wish List, worth a War Zone Conflict Experience.  As the wife of an OIF Veteran, there is nothing that will get me to relive that situation except that of a justified reason to defend our country.

3.  And the MOST IMPORTANT REASON.......  Thanksgiving is about FAMILY.  It is about enjoying what makes life worth living.  Thanksgiving is the introduction to the Season Of Giving, not the Season of Sales.  To be honest, Thanksgiving is just the beginning of a season that should be dedicated entirely to family.  Regardless of anything, what so ever......  Period!

4.  The Hubs has Black Friday off, and my Sister will be in town.  That means I must take advantage of the familial eclipse.  Not only that, but the High Museum of Art has an exhibit I want to see.....

For those Retailers that claim that Consumers are Demanding they open at Midnight.  I call BULLSHIT with and extra side of moldy Thanksgiving leftovers.  No one in their RIGHT FRAME OF MIND is going to be camping out at your front door on the ONLY DAY of THANKS our Country Recognizes.  Only those you convince to do so otherwise. 

So, I encourage ALL living organisms that have the ability to spend money to wait.  Sleep In.  ENJOY your day of Thanksgiving, and rest assured that retailers have the newest Elmo in stock even after Black Friday, and if they don't.  If you wait 2 months, you can surprise your 3 year old with a "just because" gift.  Which is even more significant than an Xmas Gift.

Even better, take your kids out on Black Friday.  Find a park, movie, even arcade.  And just have a good time.  Enjoy what makes life good.  Not a damn sale on crap....

And in other news.  The Hubs has threatened to blog himself.  I have of course called his bluff, and in turn, set up a blog called "paternally deranged" for him to get started on.  He is currently asleep, so he has no idea that I did this.  So, if you comment (even if you do not speak English), PLEASE do so.  I would love to see him blog as well! 

No Words

Can really describe our time at the Mall for the Christmas Parade.

It was a good time, there was a band.  And of course Santa......

Immediately, both The Hubs and a friend of ours noticed that Santa was not wearing fall protection gear.  Then OSHA standards were discussed with in the group. 

 Whether or not she needed Fall Protection, is debatable. 

 These boots are made for walking...

 And that's just what they did.

 Oh good.  Santa made it down safely.

 She marches to the tune of her own drummer..

 Which would be this guy.

Someone had the wild and crazy idea to march the band down the escalator.  Fortunately, no elves were harmed.

 Alex is not much for Christmas music played by a marching band that is inside a building that echos.

Im kind of jealous.  I wish I could let go of my inhibitions and just dance freely.

After the parade, it was time for a nice leisurely ride through the mall, via train.

Alex was all about kicking back and chillin'.

The engine.

We weren't sure what to think of this.  Although, Im pretty sure this was a failed attempt at advertisting for Aflac.

My Little Capitalist letting go of his own inhibitions....

Moops expressing his disappointment in my not providing him the chance to wear his Cowboy Gear today.  In my defense, I had no idea that taming wild mustangs via the carousel was on our agenda.



Veteran's Day

Many Moons ago a conflict occurred.  What our Colony of people felt was fair, differed from the Governing body. 

In Turn, a series of events led to the eventual birth of a new nation.

We as a people of the Colonies, we wanted to be a sovereign people.  There wasn't much to our requests, but they were genuine.

As a result of the conflict of opinions, a war broke out.  And at that time, we were challenged with a vast Army that could easily topple a congregation of simple hard working people.  We knew this, and in turn used our minds and found a way to overcome the insurmountable. 

In turn, a Nation was born.  One born of ingenuity, desire, and free will. 

We knew we had to rewrite the rules in order to overcome, and we did.  We figured it out, invented new methods, and created a situation we could overcome. 

This is what it means to be an American.

Fast forward a hundred years, give or take.  Our young Nation faced adversity, and grappled with the concept of freedom yet again.  For a time our country was divided, and it took the ingenuity, desire and free will of our people, to once again rise against all odds and create what we felt was the path of our Country.  And while it was a long and treacherous route, we overcame the odds using the same desire, ingenuity, and free will that our country was born with.  This time around, we evolved equally, thanks to the few that heard the call to lead our Nation.

Less than a century later, we find ourselves forced into a conflict we had hoped to avoid.  For the second time around.  We found ourselves battling entities we would have preferred to never had interacted with.  And we found our men, once again in the trenches, serving to protect and defend what we had worked so hard to create.

And only a short time later, do we find ourselves, yet again fighting for what we feel is the way to live. 

I know, from experience, that the Men and Women who put on the uniform that leads to fighting for our country, do not do so for prestige or recognition.  There is no way we could repay them what they deserve for the service they provide. 

What we can do, is learn to respect what this Nation was built on.  And continue to live by the values that created our Country. 

To each and every Man and Woman that has served to protect our Nation.  A simple but genuine Thank You, I forward to you.  And to those whose loved ones gave their lives to secure mine, a piece of my soul belongs to you.

My one goal, as a Mother, is to raise my kids to be Americans.  I hope that they live their lives with the ingenuity, desire and free will that built this country.  I want for them, what our founding fathers wanted for us.  Nothing more.

Thank You to our Veterans on this day dedicated to them. 

And on a more personal note.  I thank My Grandfather, Dad, Uncle, Husband, Brother In Law,and many dear friends for their service to our Country.

Signing Off

Moops whipped out the fake cry tonight.  I don't hear it often, as he doesn't pull out the fake cry nearly as often as say, Izzy or Ike.  But he did tonight.  Now he is sitting on my lap, snuggling his freshly washed wet hair into my face.  Not exactly pleasant, but at least he doesn't stink.

Ike, well, just as I left for work, he puked all over The Babysitter.  There wasn't much I could do, as I was still stuck demonstrating with the Occupy I-75 Crowd.

Alex has been pretty mellow today.  While Alex P. Keaton tendencies do kick in here and there, we didn't have any intellectual Republican Capitalist Charged discussions beyond what he should sell his old toys for. 

Izzy, well we cleaned out her book bag today.  It could have been declared a National Disaster, and had FEMA gotten involved, her bag would have probably been condemned.  Izzy then would have found herself in a makeshift mobile home of sorts trying to figure out how this all came about.

In a minute, they are all going to bed.  And then Im going to flop on the couch for a few, watch me some Netflix and then head to bed in preparation for another fun filled day of Occupation I-75, Work, and then Jiu Jitsu.  And somewhere in there I have to get food, cause we are out. 

Occupy I-75

I have started my own Occupation Movement.  I call it "Occupy I-75", I usually show up around 7:15 and demonstrate with 1Million + of my closest co-commuters.  Unfortunately, we aren't getting anywhere with our attempts... 

Pun Intended.

Then I show up at the office, usually with like a half second to spare, because Atlanta is convinced that 2 hours is a reasonable commute time, for 18 miles.  Yes, it takes me 2 HOURS to drive to work every morning.

I tried to listen to CNBC's Sqwak Box while inching to work.  That just put me into a bad mood. So, now I resort to Big Hair Band music and Blue Collar Comedy.  So, yeah I am that Redneck with the poofy hair in the car next to you, dancing about in my seat while I sing into my morning banana.

Dont worry though.  I only have to commute to work this week, as of Friday I will be placed back into isolation and you will no longer be exposed to my antics.

Somethings I realize, now that I have made this voyage. 

1.  I totally get why The Hubs leaves at 6 AM. 

2.  Im relieved that I have yet to see anyone on I-75 with a gun rack mounted to their car.

3.  A lot of people pick their noses while driving.

4.  There isn't much you can do about your son puking on the babysitter while boxed in by 300,000 other cars. 

5.  I wonder if all those people who are starting to look paniced around Mile Marker 261 have realized that if they lay off the Venti Mocha Non-Fat Latte with a shot of Espresso, they may not end up gambling with the cleanliness of their work attire and the frustration of having forgotten to stock up on depends.....

6.  Im convinced Smog is not the result of pollution caused by cars and industry.  Instead its all the heavy smokers stuck in traffic simoutaneously.  Im pretty sure the CDC could link air quality to traffic flow, and then find that it is not car exhaust but rather stagnant second hand smoke that we are polluting our planet with.  I only say this because I am pretty sure I am the ONLY commuter that was not smoking this morning.  But then again, I had a banana to I sang into for my entertainment.  So that doesn't secure my argument much, now does it?

7.  If there is a car full of people, and their sunroof is open.  That would be because someone farted, and it was too putred to handle.  This also happens when I carpool, and I have found that opening the sunroof in The Hubs' car alleviates the trauma of having to smell our sons' friend's natural functions..

8.  Major metro areas with bad traffic should invest in highway vendors.  At peak hours you can have all sorts of revenue flow into the economy.  Just disperse those open air type vendors with various paraphanalia to sell.  Cigarettes, Coffee and Adult Diapers could see HUGE increases in profits with little to no overhead costs! 

9.  If Corporate America were really as smart as they pretend to be on Sqwak Box.  They would have all gotten together and figured out a rotation to reduce traffic congestion and improve productivity.  This would also help alleviate the gross shortage in engineers that we need in order to improve traffic flow patterns in areas like Atltanta. 

10.  The guy behind me, for 48 minutes of my commute; He obviously is far more skilled in enteraining oneself than I am.  He had a whole drum section on his dashboard, and he was listening to Heavy Metal.  I know this because he now has a concussion and his dash is dented in. 

With that said.  I think it is imperative that Teachers start to prepare review sheets that parents can pull up when assisting their spawn with homework.  And no, simply stating WHAT you are teaching is not the same as EXPLAINING.  There are large gaps in education between us and them spawn.  Im talking an average of 20+ years, in some cases 40+ years.  And with how often cirriculum changes, it would be helpful to know what to expect ahead of time.  You may also see an increase in test scores if parents understand what the heck their kids are learning. 

Surely, Shirley didn't come up with Shurley.  And whomever did should be SHOT!

Cabin Fever And Tornados

Izzy is at the tail end of a 2 week forced sabbatical from her social life.  She was in dire need of a personality cleansing, as the dramas that dictate Preteen angst had gotten the better of her.

To say she is driving me nuts, would be a gross understatement.

I will say, this forced sabbatical has been good for her.  She has mellowed some in the drama department, not a lot, but enough.

Unfortunately, there is a level of pent up energy that is quickly coming to capacity.  Having been restricted to interacting with only her brothers and parents, a spastic twitch has formed as a way to cope with the extreme boredom.  Today she introduced me to a new cleaning method.  I call it the "Tornado Technique".  And it's not something I would recommend.  And if she paces any more aggressively through the house, Ill have a 6 inch deep trench formed in my floors.

I think I foresee a "Born Free" moment in our afternoon activities.   I'm going to drive to the park, force her out of the minivan and insist she burn some energy before I let her back in. 

Tomorrow the moratorium on her social life will be lifted, and she will once again be allowed to rejoin her pack.  You can already see the hyenas gathering in the tall grasses close to our house on the hill.  They are just waiting for their pack to be whole again....

Halloween Hangover

Those right there, they are Drunken Gummies!  All things Gummy soaked in Vodka and Grain Alcohol.  They are GOOOOOOD and they are potent.

I had one, got that shiver up my spine and decided one was enough. 

The Hubs.  He had more than one.  And he paid for it on Sunday, right along with the rest of the neighborhood.

You could tell who was at the Halloween Party on Saturday, simply by how they looked Monday Night.  The Smurfs in particular were still a little blue around the edges, come Monday.

 This here is my kids' stash, BEFORE I took my Mommy Tax cut.  They were allowed one piece last night after Dinner.  And then I allowed them 1 piece in their lunch boxes, and they got another piece after school.  I WAS going to let them have a piece after Dinner as well, because well, it is a holiday after all.  But then Moops and Izzy both had Meltdowns, in Public, and caused scenes.

So, I took the 3rd Piece of Candy away today. 

I have come to the conclusion that these meltdowns were not the result of the 3 piddly pieces of candy "I" gave them.  And being that I have superior Mothering Skills, I know WHY those two had meltdowns and Ike and Alex did not. 

See, Alex, he doesn't like candy much.  With the exception of Kit Kats and Yorks, Alex would prefer carrot sticks to candy.  No Lie.  He is more of a Salty kid, not only in taste but personality too.  Give him a bag of Cheetos, and he will suck all the cheese powder off in record time.  FYI.  Don't share a bag of Cheetos with Alex.  He sucks off the cheese, and returns the turd back into the bag.....  My Sister discovered that tidbit of info the hard way.

Ike, he has a sweet tooth.  He hasn't met a Candy he doesn't like; vegetables however, he hasn't met a veggie he likes.....  BUT, he has also been home with me all week.  So, his Candy Consumption has been kept to a very Strict Uptight Controlling Mom Standard. 

Moops and Izzy though, well I know for a fact there was other refined sugar, chemically altered and red dye laden treats made available to them at school.  I know Moops in particular, his cubby was jam packed full of evil sinful high fructose corn syrup filled treats.  And not a crumb made it home.  That means, he ate it all prior to trick or treating.

Izzy, knowing her.  She too was stocked up and noshing on the poisons of Halloween long before we hiked the neighborhood and hounded the neighbors for even more.....  I'm pretty sure she snuck into the candy stash on her own, when my back "was turned" and stocked up for continuous consumption.  I only caught her twice, but knowing her and that sweet tooth of hers, at least 5 attempts were made.  And looking at the depleted levels of candy in the bowl, it could have been more along the lines of 10 attempts.

These were my kids just after Trick Or Treating.  I had not allowed them to consume their treats yet.  I also fed them Dinner before they consumed their treats.  And then they were given one treat each.  Then bathed.  Then put to bed, promptly at 9 pm.

I did all this knowing what I would have on my hands, had I not.  And well, there is not enough Wine on the planet to survive that more than once.  And I like their teachers this year, so I do my best to insure their teachers like them in turn. 

Moops, had met his match though.  Way too much stimulation over the last 4 days.  Way too much Candy over the last 48 hours.  And confined spaces at Jiu Jitsu.  This made for an irritated Moops.  Which Izzy fed off of, and developed a frenzy all of her own.  Once 6 pm rolled around I had 2 in tears and 2 plugging their ears.

We have since calmed down again.  We feasted on Lasagna and blood sugar is no longer plummeting.

And now Moops is attempting to convince me to dissect his pumpkin, harvest the seeds and create a new pumpkin in our garden......  He even tapped the pumpkin, thumped it a few times, and confirmed that there was no chance in saving the pumpkin. 

He reassured me that this is how it works, his class read a book about it. 

I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.  My son wants to implement organ harvesting to create a new life.  But he also doesn't seem at all bothered that he declared his pumpkin a vegetable either.