It's Monday

The beginning of the week.

We are 3 weeks from Christmas and 2 weeks from school being out.  It was my 5th graders teachers great idea to supply copious amount of candy through out the next "12 days of school" to the students, none of which they are allowed to eat until school is "over for the day".  I think next year, if we encounter this "arrangement" I will willingly allow my kids to have Cocoa Puffs and Espresso before they start school each day preceding the "12 days of School".  By the time they get home, they will crash and I will only have to come up with 12 excuses as to why homework was not completed.  Hmmmmm, where should I begin?

1. Rudolph ate it.
2. My Mom needed something to light the fireplace, math homework was the most flammable.....
3. There was reindeer poop left on our front porch, so mom covered it with my science homework and used what was left of my math homework to set it on fire.....
4.  We ran out of toilet paper...
5.  It was either language arts or my Mom maintaining her sanity.  And I have to live with my Mom....
6.  My Dad drove me to school, got to work, realized I was still in the car.  So here is my note excusing my absence on the account that I am now OSHA certified....
7.  I got lost in Macy's and it took my parents 4 days to find me.  I lived off of Godiva and water fountains..... Im not feeling so hot.
8.  My Legos took over my mind and now Im not sure if I am human or plastic.
9.  My Mom went shopping on Black Friday and never came back...
10. My Dad went to put up the lights, startled my Mom and she shot his eyes out with my BB gun. He is blind now, and I must guide him through life.  Mom never mentioned she was an expert marksman....
11.  Uhhhh Ummmmmm
12.  Here, we all pitched in and got you a gift certificate to cruise the Caribbean.  All we ask in return is Straight A's and free candy for the rest of the year!....

Happy Holidays!