Thursday, July 19, 2012

I Was That Mom Today, But At Least I Wasn't THAT Mom!

Yup, my kids collided with your grocery cart.  I apologized, and you brushed me off with an air of frustration over the fact that I actually had the balls to take all 4 kids with me to the grocery store.

In my defense, The Hubs is in Ohio on business, and we were down to a few frozen tilapia filet's, some stale graham crackers, and the frozen brussel sprouts I bought 19 months ago.

Sure, I could have ordered pizza again, and avoided the whole ordeal.  But we did that a few days ago, and the kids demanded something "different".  Plus we needed more toothpaste, soap and toilet paper.

And I went through my preventative chaos routine.  I gave the kids a chance to play this morning, then I fed them a good meal, and I followed up with my "you will behave or face the wrath of a scorned mommy" threat.

Unfortunately, someone fed my kids kiddie crack, and bribed them.

So, we were met with one heck of a day.

There was the moment Moops almost took down an isle at Walmart, while I was attempting to locate the very specific plastic dividers with pockets I needed to buy in bulk for school.

And then there was the trip to the grocery store......

In the first 3 seconds we were IN the grocery, Moops had turned on the conveyors to 3 separate cash registers.  There was no time for me to react, as I was under the impression that I was still holding his hand.  It was almost like he had turned them on via telepathy, except for the fact that he was physically turning them on.  And I was freaking out, running towards him in a very manic needing Valium manner. 

Video games were confiscated, and girly screams in sued.  And a frantic rush, on my part, to turn off all the conveyor belts.

From then on, he was to hold onto the cart/buggy/basket with my hand firmly placed on top of his, in order to prevent any further scenarios involving cash registers, scales or other things I have not yet encountered.

Which you would "think" included, running into other people's cart/buggy/baskets.  But NOOOOOOO.  That only meant a bigger challenge for the Moops.  How can he successfully collide with every other cart/buggy/basket in the store?

In one word, fantastically!

I worry. 

Either this means, one day we will be writing a very hefty check to one of our neighbors after he drives a car into their living room.  OR, on an optimistic note, he is learning the hard way that OTHER people do in fact exist.

Mean while......  Alex is suffering from a very hard class the day before.  Even his eyes hurt, along with every step he took, every breath.....

And Ike was perfecting his clepto skills. 

And Izzy was establishing her place as the Alpha in the group.  Too bad, I am supposed to be the Alpha.

And there were the 4 or 6 or 20 trips to the restroom.

And there were the 3 different stores  we attempted to buy AAA batteries, on Moops' authority. 

The good news is, Ike's kitty is alive again, and can blink its eyes.  This is particularly freaky if you are sound asleep and roll over onto the "furreal" toy at 2 in the morning.

And I just discovered the package of Chips Ahoy I bought on a whim is all gone......



I was NOT the Mother whose kid went into Chrenoble mode over a hotwheel at the checkout.  And I did not have to carry out any of my flailing screaming children, thus leaving an entire cart/buggy/basket of groceries behind.  And while I'm sure there were signs of relief, as I left the grocery.  I am sure as heck hoping it is was not a collective sigh, and that my picture does not end up on the banned patron bulletin board located in the employee lounge, anytime soon.

The good news my friends, all 4 of my kids start school in 10 days, and that means this is the last summer grocery trip  for at least 9 months!

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