Tuesday, May 24, 2011

An Edison Moment

Today was an exciting day!

To start, I was happily surprised when a man with fruit showed up at my door!  Yup, I got myself gifted and Edible Arrangement, all for turning 4.5714x7!  It was a huge success. 

 This was just as it was delivered....

 About 10 minutes later....

 What the kids agreed to leave for the hubs to enjoy.  Aren't they generous?

In other news.  Moops had an Edison Moment.  It was Dinner time, and he got adventurous.  He had me sprinkle cheese on his spagetti.  Well, he thought that was just awesome.  That led to his idea that maybe cake made with cheese would be good too.  He suggested we call it "cheesecake"!  He is indeed a brilliant boy.
Apparently all that thinking really tired him out, Giraffey too. 

Wizards, Lizards and Boars. Oh My!

What a week we have had!

Two Graduations!
The Last Day of School x3
And an instantaneous need for Mommy to entertain not only her spawn, but neighborhood strains as well.

But first Wizards!

It helps to know that Hubby's youngest brother, "Uncle J", is visiting us.  Ike is made it his duty to have a conversation with Uncle J at every given opportunity.  And Ike had lots to talk about today...

This morning as Uncle J entered the room, Ike was ready and waiting.

Ike:  "we have wizards in the house"
Uncle J: "Oh really"  Im thinking he was just going along with it, much like whenever a Zombie Apocolypse is upon us.
Ike: "what do you think wizards eat"
Long Pause
Uncle J: "uhhh, magic wands?"
This is where Ike smacks his forehead and shakes his head
Ike: "nooooo, they eat bugs"
Uncle J: "wizards eat bugs?"
Ike: "yes, wizards eat bugs"
Uncle J wisely nodded his head and left it at that.
Then Moops walks in....
Moops: "Uncle J, we have a lizard in the house"
Ike: "yeah, wizards, and they eat bugs"
Uncle J: "ohhhh, lizards."

We will get to the boars later.


Moops Graduation.

He was a natural.  And full of smiles.

 There was cake.  But first, all the students had to eat a balanced snack.  So, before any cake was to be snarfed down.  Each of the kids had to eat half a ham sandwich, fresh fruit, and fresh cut veggies.  This may pose a problem for Ike.....
 Well, will you look at that.  Ike complied!  Woohoo!
 Here is Moops showing off his hard earned diploma (it's blank inside...)
Moops posing

I will have to admit, I wasn't buying into this whole PreK Graduation thing.  But it was fun, and I sniffled a bit.

And then there was Izzy.

I have pictures, but they are very blurry, as I got to her school only 30 minutes early and was stuck in the back.  I would like to know how early those that got seats arrived.

It was a very nice ceremony though.  They marched the 166 5th Grade Students, 2 x 2 down the middle to that graduation song.

Then there was the Pledge of Allegience

Then a short speech by the Principal

Then a very prestigious award was handed out to a few select students (62 of them).....  The award is the President's Award for Educational Excellence.  Those who received the award rank in the top 15% for Math, in the Nation.  And also maintained a 90 average grade wise.  This says a lot about the school, having so many that received the award (not all schools in the district had recepients).  The school district is also in the top ten for their music program.  AND some students at the school received other national ranked awards.  It's a good school!

Im proud to say Izzy was a recepient of the award.  In addition to several others.  The award itself is signed by the President of the United States.  She also received a letter from the White House.  And a pin.

This is where I started to get weepy.

After the President's Award was the citizenship awards.

Then the Middle School Principal made a speech and promised to know everyone by their first name before the end of the 1st 9 weeks.

Then there were the Academic and Extra Cirricular Awards.....  Scholarship, Safety Patrol, and 4-H were other awards Izzy received at this point. 

Im really choking back the tears now. 

Two hours later, and the principal ends the ceremony with a very moving Powerpoint Presentation of the 5th Grade Class.  And then tells us parents to sign our 5th Graders out, and they can not come back onto Campus, as Kindergarten is up next for their Graduation Ceremony....

So, off to Chili's we went for a celebratory lunch.

And then to pick up Moops from school.

And then meet Alex after school.

And then we had to hot foot it to the local pool for Izzy's graduation celebration.

Then home for a short bit.

And then back to the pool to pick Izzy up (family and younger siblings were not welcome to attend)

And then back home.  Where by that time I was exhausted, and ready for bed.  So, was Izzy who was sacked out on the couch until Dinner time.

And then it was Friday, the first official day of Summer Vacation!

Alex and Izzy had a friend over.  And after about 8 minutes of them all being in the house, it was time to send them outside.  This is where the boar comes into play.

We live in a heavily wooded area.  We have lots of woodland "friends" to make up for the lack of human interaction...

About a quarter mile behind where our property ends, there is a new subdivision being built.  And that is forcing all of our woodland friends to visit more often.  That is also encouraging all of the Elmer Fudd's to declare Open Season in our neighborhood as well.

Well, about 5 minutes after being sent outside.  The kids are back.  On one side of them was Wilbur's distant cousin, the wild boar.  And on the other side was Elmer Fudd, complete in woodland camo, and flourescent orange vest (oxymoron right?).

The kids thought it would be best to come back inside.  And I feel immense relief because I now have confirmation that the grey matter floating about in their craniums are indeed capable of applying common sense!  You would have doubts too if you saw them do their chores....

However, that meant I either tolerate them all being inside and full of pent up Summer Vacation Angst.  Or I come up with another plan.

To the park we go!

Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday The 13th!

It is always a scary time for me......  First, my oldest son was born on Friday The 13th.  He came out screaming, while I was being transported down the hallway of the hospital.  Which should have been a strong indication of my sons' impatience.  The only one to beat him out would be my youngest son, whom was so ready to come out that he couldn't even wait for me to fully dialate.  60 seconds and the birth story of a lifetime, and all 8 lbs of Ike came out screaming in a fit of rage.  The only one to take their sweet time would be Moops, whom even after 11 hours of forced labor, still took his sweet time to make his appearance.

Well, back to the subject......  Friday The 13th.

And of course today just could not be like every other day.  WHAT A RELIEF!

First, Moops got up with out a fight.  In fact, he woke up, smiled and gave me a big hug and kiss.  And then he told me he loved me.  There was no balling himself into his blanket.  That was no prying him off the bed frame.  There was no lugging him down the stairs.  I didn't even have to threaten to take away video games! 

THEN!  Then he got himself dressed! 

See, Friday The 13th's magical powers in play.

On top of that, Izzy did NOT argue with me this morning. 


Instead, she got up early, and politely asked if she could play on the computer.  And then when it was time to get off the computer, she did it.  Without hesitation.


Then she got herself dressed, in the clothes I picked out.  And complimented me.


By now it was time to drive to school.  Usually this consists of 60 minutes of absolute chaos.  Because Izzy does Safety Patrol.  So, she has to be to school promptly at 7:55.  BUT, Alex is not allowed to enter the school until 8:00.  And then there is Kamakazi Georgia Traffic on a 2 lane highway........  Ugh!

I got to the intersection that I so lovingly refer to as where Georgia and Hell intersect.  We got crazy Georgia kamakazi drivers, no traffic lights, and a need to cross two lanes.  Blech. 

It's like Human Frogger.

Amazingly enough, the intersection was completely clear.  Even long enough for me to hesitate with a double take.  Cautiously I plowed across and got into my lane.  WHEW!

I get to school, and we do our usual wait in the carline with all the other parents.

We get Izzy to Safety Patrol on time.  Wait another 5 minutes and then kick Alex to the curb.

Off to school number 2!  Today, I have a Parent Teacher conference with Moops' teacher.  Of course I scheduled it after the chatty parents.  And so their meeting ran over, and caused me to stand in the hall with Ike for an extra 7 minutes.  ARGH.

For those 7 minutes we argued over whether or not the ducks in a picture were ducks or not.  Ike doesn't believe me, even though I read out the description to him.  Literacy is not an acceptable form of evidence for a non-reading 3 year old.

We sit down and get started.  I ask the usual questions......  Have you had any discipline problems with Moops?  Does he do his school work?  Does he get along with others?

The teachers reply.  And I quote.....  "I wish we had 12 other Moops' just like him!"

I had to ask.  "Are you sure?"

And so we went through all of his progress.  Apparently he is a genius, and always does his work well.  Then there is the fact that he is so danged popular amongst the PreK crowd, that the kids FIGHT over who gets to play with him that day.  Oh and he eats whatever they give him for lunch, and then Thanks them! 

I truly must be in some sort of Twilight Zone....

Meeting over, and Ike and I head home, just in time for me to answer the phone.  It's the phone company, and they want to LOWER my phone bill. 

But wait, there is more.

Today is Grocery day.  UGH!  We get to the grocery and there is some insane sale going on, but only on the food I buy.  Hey, this is a miracle considering we cut out High Fructose Corn Syrup, and eat almost no processed food.  What is normally a $250 grocery bill, was only $173.  AND the person bagging groceries knew how to bag groceries!  AMAZING!

So, we pick Moops up from school and head home.  Moops and Ike play Banjo Kazooi and I unload groceries. 

Izzy gets dropped off from school and is pleasant.  Even when I tell her we are going to Lowe's!

Alex gets home, repeat of Izzy....

Really Im starting to think there was a catch.

And there was!

I have come to realize 2 things. 

First:  A great litmus test for expectant parents is to give them a bunch of feral cats.  And the goal is to get through an obstacle course laced with catnip and dogs, unscathed.  If you still want to be a parent after that then "congratulations, you are insane enough to pull it off".

Second:  The Duggars, and Kate Gosselin are bleeping Genius!  They record every moment of their kids lives, and then televise it for all to see.  Something I have learned, when the camera comes out my kids behave.  And WHY?  Because they know Im going to blog about them.  Yup, I pull my phone or camera out and the first question I get "is this going on your blog?".  Incredible!

Anyways.  Back to our trip to Lowe's.

I had to buy a new strip of floor moulding for the house.  Why, you ask?  Because Ike took the old strip off.....

So, of course you buy 6 feet of metal stripping, all of the kids want to mess with it.  So, you tell them "Dont touch the metal stripping"

Here is what happens next.........

 Here is Alex "not touching" the metal strip.  And then promptly asking "is this going to make it on your blog?"

 Here are the other 3 also "not touching" the metal strip....

 Here we are at the ice cream place, because I thought it would be a great day to pay $15 for 4 cheap sundaes.  Yes, those our thunder clouds, I felt like tempting fate! 

 Ike secured the premisis for me....

 Warren attempted to dance.....

 Ike got himself a dirt sundae, which comes complete with gummy worm.

 Izzy got herself the "creepy guy sundae".  And no she didn't eat the cookie cause it "creeped her out".

Moops informed me "this is how cavemen eat dinosaurs"....

From there we headed home.  It has been a nice quiet evening so far. 

Happy Friday The 13th!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

It's Mother's Day

And Moms every where are being showered with handmade trinkets of love, breakfast in bed, possibly Mother's Day programs at their local house of worship, and perhaps dinner out.

Me.  I slept in, let my older kids feed the younger kids.  And then ignored their bickering over whatever game was in the Xbox.  Then I dragged myself out of bed, and plopped right onto the couch and took command of the remote.  For lunch, Macaroni and Cheese!  Hey, it's from scratch, we have been blue box free for at least a year now.  Well, the kids had Mac N Cheese.  I made myself a nice gooey grilled cheese made with swiss, tomatoes and a nice salty ham, oh and a little red onion and spinach.  MMMMMMMM.

My brother called, to say Happy Mother's Day.  It's fun to talk to him, he is an adult too, now he just needs kids.  Then we can commiserate!

At 2, my older kids made their way next door and graced their friends Mother with their presence.  I in turn stretched out a little more across the couch.  And then forced my younger two to watch lame 90s movies with me. 

I called my Grandmother.  And we had a nice long chat.  I love my Grandma!

I called my Mother, who has informed me she is considering blogging herself.  She is calling herself "Maternally Satisified" and she is going to share all the wonders of being a Mother of Adult Children and enjoying that dish best served cold.........  Revenge.  We continued chatting, as I sat outside in the sun, fully dressed so as not to mess with my pristene pastey white complexion.  And I described how my little Ike was running around in just his shorts blowing on dandelions and watching as those little fuzzy things float away.  He btw is tanning beautifully.  After a few minutes of that, bugs and my paranoia that Ike would hurt himself kicked in, and we made our way back into the safety of climate controlled bug free bliss.

Tonight, we dine on take out.  Send the kids to bed early.  And then settle onto the couch with wine in hand, and Netflix in the DVD player.

This I think has been the best Mother's Day ever.  I got to be absolutely lazy, indulged in comfort food, stayed in my baggy pjs all day; and was rewarded and smothered in kisses for it.  You can't top it with expensive gifts, although gifts dont hurt.  There is no Mother's Day Brunch that can satisfy more than your favorite grilled cheese on a Tonka Plate on your couch with your kids telling you are the best Mom ever, while they watch lame 90s movies with you and try REALLY REALLY hard not to complain.

And now here I am.  I figured it just wouldn't be right to not post on Mother's Day.

So, Happy Mother's Day to you as well!

Sorry for no pictures.  I ran out of batteries, and was too lazy to replace them.  Maybe tomorrow......

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Cinco De Mayo

And boy did we eat good!

I channeled my friend's Abuelita, and allowed my Gringa-self to overcome her eccentricities.  We had...

Homemade tortillas in shapes that my Geometry teacher would have scoffed at.....
Black beans with corn and tomatoes.

I even received a compliment from my biggest critic.  Isabel told me Dinner smelled GREAT!  Then she decided to follow the evening routine. BONUS!  And she took her shower before Dinner, as to ease the evening rush......

Alex was kind enough to retrieve a fresh towel for Isabel.......  They were both Grounded for the day, which would explain their willingness to cooperate. 

This is where things go down hill.

Isabel screamed, in only a way a female tween can scream.

Alex started yelling.





The Hubby is now regretting coming home from work early.....

I send him up.

He, my war veteran husband, refuses.

I scream upto the second floor.  Alex slowly appears at the top of the stairs doning the towel he had retrieved for Isabel. 

I asked why he wasn't dressed, he said because Isabel got him wet.

At this moment, in unison, they swear that Alex never stepped foot into the bathroom.

So, I asked.  Well, then why are you wrapped in a towel....  I know, dumb question.

He answered, because my clothes are all wet.

I ask, well how did they get wet.

Again, in unison, they both swear Alex never stepped foot into the bathroom. 

So, I ask again; because I am a glutton for punishment.....  How did you get wet?

In a very annoyed tone, I get the sharp reply from Alex...... "Well, how should I know?"

I walked away, this was not an interogation I wanted to continue.

Meanwhile, down in what I now refer to as the Play Pit......  Ike and Warren are having some sort of battle involving warthogs, spartans, and spray bottles.  Im pretty sure I don't want to know.....

I deemed it a good time to herd all the minors residing in the house outside.  This is where Isabel provided us with a snippet of what Drivers' Ed will be like in a few short 5 years........

Do I really need to comment?

Fortunately for me, all of the kids are now well fed and in bed.  And Reggie has been kind enough to finish the dishes for me....  What an awesome T-Rex we have living with us....  I wish I could say the same for the shark, whom is currently MIA.

Gracias, Reggie.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Sunday, May 1, 2011

It's Sonday!

Which follows the Saturday I spent noshing on french dips, croissants, and then lamenting over the love handles I have developed thanks to 4 pregnancies and my love for french dips and croissants.  Izzy joined me, and we turned Saturday into a girls day out. 

We tried on clothes, Izzy of course is cute and can wear anything.  I, on the other hand, can no long pull off certain styles (ok, all of them except jeans and loose t-shirts).  We left the mall, boasting a new skirt for Izzy and a new loose shirt for Moi.

Izzy was kind enough to treat me to a Izze soda at Starbucks.  Before we called it a day.

Did I mention my lovely daughter has indeed inherited the cheap gene.  It is hard to remember that when dealing with my funds, as she has no qualms plowing through the piddly little puddle of change that is my bank account.  But hand the child a wad a cash, and you will experience a very different little girl.  One that scoffs at the price of build-a-bear clearance sales, webkins at full price, and the fact that a large slurpee tops $2.  Oh she is soooo my Daughter.

So, today, as she rushed out the front door to embark on some sort of super soaker challenge at her BFFFL's house (that would be "best female friends for life" to those of you who don't speak Tween).  I settled in with the idea that I would enjoy a nice lazy day with my 3 sons.

The only real thing on our agenda was a trip to Walmart to exchange a controller for the highly coveted Xbox.

But first we had to start with a trip to timeout, a horrible 5 minutes sequestered in his room, Warren endured for something I can not recall at all.  It was bad though, because I was really mad.  Well, what happens when you send a 5 year old to their room, but don't stand at the doorway to watch their every move?

That would be a no girls allowed symbol applied to the wall next to the door to his room.  So, as of 10 a.m. today, anything boasting a uterus or goes by the title of "mom", "mommy" or "ISABEL" is no longer allowed in the pit of boyhood.  I'm not to torn up by this.

Time out completed, new punishment of no video games in place.  It is time to go to Walmart, on a Sunday.  The Church Crowd is just trickling in,  and my 3 sons channeling feral cats.  Im wearing flip flops, Warren wearing his boots.  Yeah, it was painful. 

And in the 24 hours from when Alex got his new controller, discovered it didn't work, and then I pulled out all of the packaging, receipt and instructions out of the trash can (one of those moments where the hubby endures the Darth Vader Death Glare as I repeat previous instructions of packaging retainment for situations JUST LIKE THIS, and he tunes me out).  We find out, that everyone else in our town also went out and bought Xbox controllers that very same day, and they are now sold out!

Lovely.  Alex feels that we should hit up the various other walmarts with in 100 mile radius, in search for a replacement.

Nope, not in the mood to herd feral cats through a store, much less my 3 sons who are not behaving as the perfectly behaved boys that I had given birth to.

Back home we go, and it is with my ever expanding wisdom that it is decided that perhaps the boys need some time outside.  And since it is such a beautiful day, I can make an attempt adding some color to my pasty white complexion.

 Water pistols fully loaded.  Warren is realizing Ike boasts the superior weapon of soaking destruction.  Well, its' better than his.
 Ike demonstrating what his water laser gun can handle.
 Ike taking out the other brother.

 Warren displaying just how cool the blue water pistol is.  He is quite the salesman!
 Alex and his mad skills with a cap gun.
 Hey!  It's empty....
 Ike directing Alex where to dig.  He is armed just in case Alex tries something sketchy.
 And we have a meltdown.  Time to go in.  No tanning for Mom, just some serious hungry bugs feasting on her like she's an all you can eat buffet.
 Warren seeking out some time to himself, while also expressing his disdain for me.  He is such an excellent multitasker.
Reggie: "¡Vaca santa! Sus niƱos son intensos."

Reggie I couldn't agree more!