Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Murphy's Law

Murphy LOVES our house.  There is just so much that he can accomplish here, it is like his own little OCD Paradise.  And of course, there is always an opportunity for him to practice his own version of Devine Intervention.  And he never tires of rearranging things, so I spend the better part of my life searching for what I KNOW I put where I thought it would be.....

Previous to becoming "broken", I decided 2012 was going to be the year that my kids become more self sufficient.  I have two reasons for this.  First, one day they will all be adults, and well I will have then started my "retirement" aka run away to a far away land where dirty laundry is magically returned to me clean, and a smoldering SpanishVinyard Dude shamelessly flirts with me as he refills my glass with his greatest of Garnacha.  Shoot, who am I kidding?  No smoldering Spanish Vineyard Dude is necessary, just an open tab.....The Hubs has his own fantasy, I don't begrudge him.  I think it consists of the movie set for Fight Club and Bruce Lee getting his butt kicked by The Hubs..  And maybe a knife or sword as well.

Second.  Well, my older two are entering the phase in life where body odor becomes, uhhhhhh, pungent.  And well, I'm tired of washing all the clothes that are really clean, but they are too lazy to actually put away, after they pulled it out, after I had put it away. 

And there is actually a third.  That would be, that I am hoping that maybe they will be a little more diligent about not making a mess in the first place, if they find themselves cleaning it up anyways.  This is a slim chance, I know, but I am also deranged and cling to whatever hope I can muster......

This is where Murphy comes charging through the door, and he was so excited about helping me out, that he made it my Christmas Present!  He was giddy, like a teenager who just got his license, giddy.  There was no stopping him.  And the impact was instantaneous. 

Thanks to Murphy, I am now broken.  And it is going to be weeks before I am "normal" again. 

And when I mean broken, I don't mean chipped tooth or finger in a splint broken.  I mean, needs crutches and looks like an idiot in public broken.

The good news is, I will heal.......  Eventually. 

The bad news is, until I can walk again.  The rest of the family has to pitch in and pick up the slack.  The Hubs has been awesome about this.  The kids have been, great, sometimes.

This wasn't exactly my vision, when I decided that the kids needed to be more self sufficient.  I was hoping for a little more control and opportunity to micromanage them.  I didn't envision crutches or me being confined to a very uncomfortable chair through out the day....

Instead, I stuck on a chair/couch/bed, while they figure it out on their own.  This does not bode well for my micromanaging personality.  Nor does it bode well for me getting things done myself.  There has been a lot of drive-thru take out over the last week, and canned soup, and chips......  And a lot of reading....  And maybe some really obnoxious texting to my friends and family.

There are also awkward situations, such as my need to go to the office, and no one being around to help me with the door.  Yeah, that is one of those situational comedic events, where you show up back to work from lunch, and find a woman trapped between the door and door frame, with her crutches out of reach, and her cell phone ringing annoyingly to the tune of Britney Spears BEFORE she went crazy, because that is the ring tone for her crazy friend that doesn't grasp the concept of voice mail.

And there is the frustration, when nature calls, and you can't just hop up and run to the restroom.  Instead, there is careful planning and a sort of hasty attempt at hobbling, and a very panicked moment at the end.....

And finally.  There is Grocery Shopping that needs to be done on Thursday, along with the purchase of a Birthday Gift for a Slumber Party on Friday.  And I still need to make it to the book store to pick up the book I need to learn how not to be a Dummy At Something I really want to be good at, but held off until after the Holidays to tackle.......

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