Sunday, March 25, 2012

Smells Like Tween Spirit

So, yesterday I went all out.  I typed out a long flashback to when I myself was a Tween, training bra and all.

But then something happened here in Stepford that trumped my pilgrimage flashback to 1989 and all things awkward.

And that would be an all out White Trash Cat Fight Battle Royale. 

And to think, my anticipated excitement for the day was more fixated on the garbage disposal The Hubs was installing, and my purchase of Mussels.

My day started out like any other Sunday.  Sleeping in to a ridiculous hour, a quiet shower with the door locked since there was another adult in the house to referee the boys.  My intent to get our Redbox movie returned so I didn't have to pay for yet another day.....  I still owe Blockbuster, don't need to add Redbox to that list.

Instead, I encounter what can only trump Soccer Mom's Gone Mad on a rainy muddy day.

This is the sort of stuff Snarky In The Suburbs would be so obliged to report.  And here I get my eye witness account.  I kind of wish I had her number on speed dial, I could have totally used her expertise on this one.

It began with my approach up the hill, only to find myself blocked by a Suburban parked askew in the middle of my street, with doors open and a funky swaying that usually means something a little naughty is going on. 

Instead, you can see two women in the front seats hashing it out mud wrestling style.  Behind them some of my neighbors in their cars wondering what the heck is going on. 

Suddenly a coffee cup comes flying out of the passenger side window and shatters on the ever so innocent driveway the suburban is blocking. 

Out the passenger's window goes a bag...

It's obviously getting ugly in the suburban.  That large gas guzzler was a rockin' side to side.  A man is carefully approaching the vehicle.  I'm grabbing for my phone ready to inform 911 dispatch of Stepford Gone Wild.

All of a sudden an unidentifiable flying object flies out the window, and that seems to have really stunned the driver and ticked her off even more.  By then, a man is at her window trying to see if he can calm her down.  Unfortunately the woman is in full blown psycho mode, so the guy gets back into his car.

Next thing I know, the passenger has left the vehicle, and the driver seemingly locked the doors and continued to chuck random items out the window at the passenger, who is now trying to pry open the back door with her not so super human strength. 

It was at that moment, a dog flies out of the passenger window, leash and all.  And that dog bolted, it was just way too much crazy for man's best friend.

The dog seems to be OK, he made a B line for a neighbors open garage. 

By now we have said passenger pacing up and down, and psycho driver lady in the car.  And blocked neighbor is still trying to get out of their driveway.

Eventually, psycho driver lady calms down and passenger has since left the scene.  The suburban is still in the middle of the street blocking traffic, waiting for a wrecker. 

I'm not entirely sure what went down, because I am a Pansy and decided I did not need to inject myself into said scenario.  I did ask Izzy if the suburban was still there, when she went to her friends house an hour later.  Crazy Psycho Driver Lady was still sitting on the curb waiting for a wrecker then.  I think she finally left shortly after.

I'm sure blogger law probably requires me to stick it out for the whole situation to play out.  So, I apologize.  I'm still new to witnessing of drama, usually I'm the lame loser that misses it all.  Like when cops show up to Tupperware parties, long after I have left.  That has happened more than once....

I promise, from here on out, I will be far more diligent and aware of what the heck is going on.

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