So, it's been a while.

We are on week (wait while I pull up my little calendar real quick....) FIVE!

I completed my 3 weeks of training and am now working with my new system.  So far I haven't created any fires or deleted any accounts.  But part of that is because I don't have the authority to delete accounts yet...... 

I have found a way to drive my kids bonkers, and in turn trained them with beeping....

How did I manage this, you ask?

Well, I leave the cordless phone in random places, and then when I want to use it, I hit the page button on the base and wait for them to bring it to me...

The kids have experienced the magic that is Day Care.  And they were sadly disappointed, no unicorns, no incredible snacking,  that kid that blows bubbles with his snot was there, and they had to complete their homework before they were allowed to play.....

Izzy has entered into her final year as a child, and her teen years are approaching far faster than I can handle.....

 

I think it is time for boarding school at a convent......

 

Those were the sparkly ones. 

 

There were also platform stilettos with big flowers on them.

 

And red patent leather with spikes......

 

What was startling is she walks better in the heels than she does in normal shoes or even barefoot.

 

Izzy claimed they were acceptable to wear to school because they are closed toe and closed heel.

 

I said "the only time I will ever be cool with you wearing shoes like that is if you are a lawyer and you use them to kick your opposing counsel to the curb......"

 

I got the stink face from her.

 

There was also a run in with one of Alex's teachers.  I seemed to have made an impression, or actually, Alex has made quite the impression.

 

First, I was recognized after only one very brief introduction made many moons ago.

And then I was called out of the crowd I was hoping to disappear into.

 

We had a lovely talk. 

Apparently Alex is quite the pleasant individual at school.

Nothing like his brooding tormented soul at home.

And he works really hard in class.

Nothing like his chores assignment here at home.

And he smiles!  A lot....

 

Maybe there is some sort of vortex that he passes through on his way to class that alters his personality blue print. 

 

I of course called Alex out when I got home. 

And he gave me his smirk.

 

 

 

 

I Survived

Yup, I sure did. 

I worked a full 40 hours this week, and I lived to talk about it.

My house, however, did not. 

That is partly because we had sick kids, projectile vomiting, and 2 days off of school.

And the kids seem to have forgotten what it means to get their chores done. 

This has been an interesting week. 

At work, I am learning a new system, hence the 40 hours this week.  And I work from home, which will help provide you with a better visual of my week.  And The Hubs was home on Thursday in preparation for an overnight business trip.

At school, Izzy was signed up for a whole bunch of stuff.  She found herself signing up for Newspaper club, Honor Band, FEA (Future Educators of America), and Dramatic Choir (as opposed to monotonous choir).  She even had to submit a writing sample for Newspaper, and she got in.

"YIPPEE!".

She shared a play by play of one of her classmates going all Exorcist in class. 

Which then helped me not freak out too much when Ike went all Exorcist while we were in the car line.  The kid we carpool with said he sounded like a "fire hose".  Lovely.

I am wondering what the teacher who ended up with our car was thinking........ 

Her face said "ewwww" but she was very pleasant about it.

"Oh look, someone isn't feeling too well.".

To Home, we went. 

Although a trip to the grocery for carpet cleaner and wine was tempting.  I wonder what someone would think if I was at the grocery with a lethargic 5 year old, and my basket consisted of Lysol, carpet cleaner and the biggest jug of vino available at 7:30 in the morning.  HA HA HA. 

Izzy wasn't feeling well that evening, when I picked her up from our carpool buddy.

Which meant the following day I had the Exorcist squared on my couch, while I attempted to learn how to create fire using a cotton ball and sharpie.  OK, maybe not exactly that, but it is how I felt going over the material I am currently learning.

And then there was all that other stuff that needs to get done.  Like dinner, laundry, cleaning puke off the back of my seat in the swagger wagon.

Thursday and Friday there was no school.  Fortunately Ike and Izzy are now recovered, and have since started an epidemic.  While we have not yet experienced Exorcist III, Moops is well on his way....  Joy!

My living room looks like a tornado hit.  The playroom has been conquered by Izzy's Build A Bear Army, and Alex has forgotten how to load the dishwasher.  And I don't know why, and so far I can't get a straight answer.  But all four of my children felt compelled to completely empty the contents of their school bags all over the kitchen table.

This weekend we celebrate The Hubs' Birthday.  He will be 21+X.  He intends to gain 5 lbs by eating everything he refrains from eating the rest of the year, enjoying some Scotch, and hitting up the movies.  I intend to make a cake and hope it works out, make a whole bunch of food, and then hope like heck I don't go exorcist myself. 

All so we can repeat on Monday!

The First Week of School

And it was a doozie.

We also started earlier than most of the rest of the country, and my kids were aware of this.  And they were not happy.

There were lots of tears, from Moops in particular.  They started Sunday night and continued until we started to load up into the car, Monday morning.

The Hubs even took the day off, so he too could join in the festivities.  It's a special year for us.  Ike, starts school for the first time.  And even more important, this will be the first time in 12 years that I do not have a child in tow at all times. 

That's right, I am now kid free for approximately 7 1/2 hours a day!  Do you know what kind of damage I could cause.  Tee hee.

But first, we have to get all the kids to class. 

Izzy and Alex, pretty much took themselves to class.  I think we got a half attempt at a wave good bye from Alex.  Izzy didn't even acknowledge our existence once we climbed out of the car.

The Hubs took Moops to his class.  He was OK initially, but his teacher did say there were even more tears that afternoon.  But not too bad.

And then there was Ike.  Ike is the baby, and he is a Mama's Boy too.  And there is the pesky little issue with being spoiled.  When I would take him to volunteer in Moops' class last year, he wanted no part in it.  He usually would be upset when I would tell him we were going.  He would try to hide his shoes.

So, I didn't know what to expect from him.  Was he going to end up flipping out like that one kid last year, that had to be dragged in by the PE coach, kicking and screaming demanding he be returned to his Mom.  Was he going to cry and cling to my leg.  I was really anxious, as we walked down the hall.  So far so good, he marched to his class like a good boy.  Then he entered his classroom, tossed his back pack to his teacher and headed straight for his chair.  He had this "let's do this" vibe going.  And he was really annoyed when we told him he had to go help his teacher with his back pack. 

She showed him where to put his lunch box, where to put his folder, and how to hang up his back pack.

I tried to give him a hug, and he just kept walking past me.  He told me he had to color.

So, I tried to get a picture, but he refused to look up. 

So, I tried to give him another hug.  No go. 

So, now I'm feeling all conflicted.  I am so relieved he didn't freak out.  But I'm feeling a little rejected, given he wasn't going to even give me a hug.    And then I was like "wait, I'm free!" and the scene from the movie Madagascar with that zebra popped into my head.

The Hubs and I went out to lunch on Monday, and we enjoyed eating without distractions.

And I played on facebook a lot. 

I went to the gym.

And we went grocery shopping. 

It was Twilight Zone weird at times.

We picked up the kids, which was an hour long ordeal.  But it was nice, we chatted.  I watched the lady in the car next to us pick her nose.  The kids were all exhausted, and Ike was a bit anxious over the concept of homework. 

Tuesday it was just me, all by myself.  I had a taco for lunch.  The car line only took 40 minutes. I was the Mom seat dancing to AC/DC in the minivan.  Yup, that was me. 

Wednesday I opted for a nap.  The nap did not go well.  So, I went to the gym instead. 


Thursday was grocery day.  I went grocery shopping all by myself.  I got to take my time, spent a good 10 minutes reading the back of packages.  I also went out and bought a big dry erase calendar.  Given that Izzy has 4 different enrichment activities this semester, Alex has jiu jitsu and boy scouts, Moops has jiu jitsu, and I have work.  And The Hubs travels.  I thought maybe having a calendar would be helpful.  It is really cool, it's one of those peel and stick ones.  And I got different colored markers.  He he.

And for giggles, and some Vodka.  I went to a liquor store.  I never get to go to liquor stores!  I felt 21 again, when I got carded.  That was until they then carded the 90 year old lady behind me too.  She was a bit annoyed because she had to go searching for her license and her pill case spilled out inside her bag.  And some guy in the whiskey isle was in the middle of a very heated phone discussion with someone about how to do their job right.  He was wearing one of those bluetooth thingies in his ear, so it looked like he was shouting at no one.  The cashier guy said they keep him around for entertainment purposes.

And today is Friday!  Not only is it Friday, but it is also Ike's Birthday!  So, he got to take in a special treat for his class.  We opted for Tootsie Rolls and Nerds, two of his favorites. 

It's also my cousin's birthday.  He is 30 now, and I'm sure not handing out Nerds or Tootsie Rolls to his coworkers.  Nor do I see him noshing on a giant chocolate chip cookie cake for breakfast. 

And once school is out today, it will be all about Ike.  He wants to play video games and eat cheap pizza and stay up until 10 pm.  Happy Birthday Ike!

You Know How You Know....

It is going to be one of those days, just moments after you wake up. 

Usually you find yourself swishing saline (for contacts) instead of Listerine. 

Or replying a simple "yes" to a text proves to be impossible, and you seriously consider chucking your phone at a brick wall.

And then your children add to it by doing things that you can't really explain, so you just shrug.

Then there is when you go to do something, but completely forget what it is you intended to do, so you get on facebook instead.  Only to realize that you were supposed to take your bread out of the oven, and now you have burnt bread.

Yup.  That has been my week....

Today, I Was That Other Mom....

Today was NAGA, which is a grappling tournament for mixed martial arts.  It was also Alex's first tournament.  The hubs competed too, but we aren't talking about him tonight.

It was 7 hours of unairconditioned high school auditorium with 700 of our closest sweatiest Atlanta bound families of fighters.

I can't remember what time this was taken.  Alex is in there some where.  I think it was early on, before the sweats and heat kicked in.

Here you can see the fighters.  On the other side is a mob, attempting to overcome the bleachers.

Lunch was hot dogs and hamburgers.

Ike has a big mouth.

Hour 6.......  No a/c, lots of people, July, and Atlanta.  Hell hath not frozen over.

And then there were 2. 

 Somewhere in the sea of sweaty people...

"Let's Get Ready to Ruuuuuuumble"

This is the first half of his first fight.  Then my phone crapped out on me. 

Alex dominated the first portion of this fight, then his opponent got his back. 

It still was a great fight.

But the most exciting part, was not captured on camera.  Thanks to my phone.

Alex was fierce.

He was in it to win it.

There was the mistaken tap out, which is when Alex had his opponent in a Kimora. 

I don't know what that is, but it looked neat!

Alex jumped up, because he thought the other kid tapped out. 

Then he walked over to The Hubs and asked for water.

The other kid said "no no, I didn't tap out"

So back to the ring he went. 

It was all fun and games, until Alex got the other kid in an Arm Bar.

Then it was Fantastic!

The kid tapped out!

Overall, Alex placed 2nd.

This was his first tournament ever.

Alex is on the left, I had to ask a Dad to move so I could take the pic!

We celebrated with chicken nuggets and Dr Pepper. 

And a LOOOOOOONG drive across the ATL.

Here is Giraffey enjoying dinner.  We had pasta.  It was yummy.

I need to make myself a bumper sticker that says....

"It's all fun and games until my kid puts your kid in an Arm Bar.  Then, it's Fantastic!"

I'm so proud of Alex. 

I Was That Mom Today, But At Least I Wasn't THAT Mom!

Yup, my kids collided with your grocery cart.  I apologized, and you brushed me off with an air of frustration over the fact that I actually had the balls to take all 4 kids with me to the grocery store.

In my defense, The Hubs is in Ohio on business, and we were down to a few frozen tilapia filet's, some stale graham crackers, and the frozen brussel sprouts I bought 19 months ago.

Sure, I could have ordered pizza again, and avoided the whole ordeal.  But we did that a few days ago, and the kids demanded something "different".  Plus we needed more toothpaste, soap and toilet paper.

And I went through my preventative chaos routine.  I gave the kids a chance to play this morning, then I fed them a good meal, and I followed up with my "you will behave or face the wrath of a scorned mommy" threat.

Unfortunately, someone fed my kids kiddie crack, and bribed them.

So, we were met with one heck of a day.

There was the moment Moops almost took down an isle at Walmart, while I was attempting to locate the very specific plastic dividers with pockets I needed to buy in bulk for school.

And then there was the trip to the grocery store......

In the first 3 seconds we were IN the grocery, Moops had turned on the conveyors to 3 separate cash registers.  There was no time for me to react, as I was under the impression that I was still holding his hand.  It was almost like he had turned them on via telepathy, except for the fact that he was physically turning them on.  And I was freaking out, running towards him in a very manic needing Valium manner. 

Video games were confiscated, and girly screams in sued.  And a frantic rush, on my part, to turn off all the conveyor belts.

From then on, he was to hold onto the cart/buggy/basket with my hand firmly placed on top of his, in order to prevent any further scenarios involving cash registers, scales or other things I have not yet encountered.

Which you would "think" included, running into other people's cart/buggy/baskets.  But NOOOOOOO.  That only meant a bigger challenge for the Moops.  How can he successfully collide with every other cart/buggy/basket in the store?

In one word, fantastically!

I worry. 

Either this means, one day we will be writing a very hefty check to one of our neighbors after he drives a car into their living room.  OR, on an optimistic note, he is learning the hard way that OTHER people do in fact exist.

Mean while......  Alex is suffering from a very hard class the day before.  Even his eyes hurt, along with every step he took, every breath.....

And Ike was perfecting his clepto skills. 

And Izzy was establishing her place as the Alpha in the group.  Too bad, I am supposed to be the Alpha.

And there were the 4 or 6 or 20 trips to the restroom.

And there were the 3 different stores  we attempted to buy AAA batteries, on Moops' authority. 

The good news is, Ike's kitty is alive again, and can blink its eyes.  This is particularly freaky if you are sound asleep and roll over onto the "furreal" toy at 2 in the morning.

And I just discovered the package of Chips Ahoy I bought on a whim is all gone......

ARGH!

BUT!

I was NOT the Mother whose kid went into Chrenoble mode over a hotwheel at the checkout.  And I did not have to carry out any of my flailing screaming children, thus leaving an entire cart/buggy/basket of groceries behind.  And while I'm sure there were signs of relief, as I left the grocery.  I am sure as heck hoping it is was not a collective sigh, and that my picture does not end up on the banned patron bulletin board located in the employee lounge, anytime soon.

The good news my friends, all 4 of my kids start school in 10 days, and that means this is the last summer grocery trip  for at least 9 months!

Friday The 13th

And so begins what would be the most expensive time of year for us. 

It starts with Alex's Birthday and finishes off with our wedding anniversary.

Over the course of the next five and a half weeks, we will celebrate 5 Birthdays, The First Day of School, and our wedding anniversary.

We will have purchased

uniforms for all the kids
school supplies
birthday presents x5
birthday parties x5
a babysitter so we can spend a ridiculous amount of money on dinner for us
and because our bank account isn't hurting already, something else will go wrong....

Because Murphy loves us like "we're family"....

And how did we begin the Marathon of Crazy?

With French Toast, of course!

P.S. The trick candles I got, didn't work

This is the Phantom thingy Alex got from the grandparent who is responsible for The Hubs.  It has almost 1000 pieces.  And I was selected to put it together.

Alex was kind enough to get it all set up for me.

This is step 1, only 99 to go.....

We are about 4 hours and a bottle of wine into the project.

We did take a time out for a Birthday party, where Moops got to pet a variety of reptiles, which included a ticked off alligator and a very large "baby" albino Burmese python.  Ike and I decided to appreciate from really really really a far...

Three days, two sore thumbs and 3 bottles of wine later......

I had to take a break, to make dinner.  Everyone was hungry, and my thumbs hurt. 

In addition to building a large plastic armadillo thingy, we also had a Birthday party.  Said birthday party consisted of seven 10-12 year olds, of mixed gender.  It was chaotic,but my sister was here, and there was wine.  So, it was OK. 

We also went shopping and bought more clothes for The Hubs.  Did you know, it took only a decade to convince him to try on the clothes he buys.  And that only happened because I made him return the clothes he bought without trying on first, the last time he did that.  And there was some stink eye involved. 

I did other stuff too, but I am too tired to remember what it was.  I think it involved 2 different meals of tacos, a trip to Steak n' Shake, and the realization that I still don't like Legos or other brands of similar plastic brick blocks.  All 960 some odd of them...