Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Things I Forgot And Now Have To Learn All Over Again

1.  Dividing Fractions.  I hope when the time comes, we can afford a tutor for the high school years.  I barely graduated then, it could be disastrous for my kids if I have to repeat Chemistry or Calculus again.  I can handle "F.O.I.L.", but that is about as far as I am functionally....

2.  Never put your life on hold.  Not for kids, a job, or to clean your kitchen.  Kids should be a part of your life, but not something that consumes life.  Your job, well it should simply afford you to be able to live.  And your kitchen, well, it's gonna get messed up in 5 minutes anyways.......

3.  All those incriminating photos you have of your kids.  Just remember someone has incriminating photos of you too!

4.  Life repeats itself.  30 years ago The Hubs was kept home from school, because he was sick.  In turn he missed the field trip to the farm.  Today, Moops is at home because he is sick.  He too is missing his field trip to the farm.  I think this is an obvious lesson for our family, We are not farm people.  We are city people, and we should embrace our fate.  

5.  Remember all those cheesy songs that kids used to make up?  Well, someone needs to stop the cycle.  "Jingle Bells Batman Smells" is one song that does not need to carry on from generation to generation....

6.  Middle Aged Syndrome seems to be a life long affliction.  Don't ask me how I know, because The Hubs would be upset if I told him that he has the rest of his life to fret over getting old.  I know this because that is what I told Alex this morning, and he pouted, much like The Hubs does when I am brutally honest with him. 

7.  What Goes Around Comes Around.  Karma has a list from when I had my own phone line as a kid.  I'm hoping if I make a public apology now, perhaps Karma will knock a few off the list.  And in turn, I will get a reprieve in the crank calling.  It's one of those experiences where there is serious truth to the statement that it is "better to give than to receive"......  Although, I know that is probably not the intended interpretation.  I am also using this as my argument as to why Izzy can not have her own cell phone.  It is my grand attempt to keep Karma from infiltrating her adult life. 

8.   Just like when you were a kid.  A big box and some cheap toys goes a lot further than all that expensive crap you are afraid to let your kids play with, because when college comes around you are hoping to sell it as mint condition collectibles in order to fund their education.  Shoot, maybe I should "help" my kids with their math homework in high school.  Then college wont be an issue.

9.  That smell in your car, the one that went away magically as your kids became potty trained and got off the bottle.  It comes back during puberty, as B.O.; deodorant is supposed to help, but not so much. 

10.  All those hours you slept as a teen and young adult, and for many of us it irritated our parents.  I get it now.  It starts out when your kids are babies.  They go to great lengths to tire you out, so by the time they are toddlers you are not as quick or sharp as you once were.  By the time they are in school, you are still cleaning up from when they were toddlers, so then they start to test those boundaries that you thought were secure.  Next thing you know, they are teenagers, your freshly stocked pantry is bare, and there is some scary looking 8ft giant in a dress named "Balthazaar" at the door ready to pick your Daughter up for her date.  Or, you are the proud parents of Balthazaar!  They're catching up from all of their efforts to break you.

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