Saturday, April 2, 2011

Disciplining Sucks!

Discipline is such a tumultuous process. It is in no way fun and it is intensely frustrating, which is why it sucks. As a parent you have to stay on the ball, insure your kids are not only safe and healthy; but you have to also make sure they don’t maim each other or someone else.

The worst part of discipline would be your kids’ reaction to punishment. Best case scenario, the stink eye….

Worst case scenario, a down and out fit of rage in the middle of the busiest restaurant in town, on the floor, with spinning, kicking and probably a spilled tray on someone’s table from when a server tripped over your screaming spawn……. What makes it so bad, is the knowing that at that point, their feelings for you are pretty darn sucky, and genuine. These are your children, whom you love unconditionally. And at that point in time they see you more like Donald Rumsfeld, rather than Mommy. Fortunately, it is short lived. Unfortunately, it is frequently resurrected and repeated.

What makes it even worse is it is very rare to get through a day where you avoid a conflict of interests with your lovely perfect offspring. For me, today, it started somewhere around 5:30 am with our 3 year old thinking it was breakfast time. Now, hear me out before you judge (oh yeah, the perception of others judging you for your disciplining makes for an even more frustrating process). Saturday, that is today, is MY day to sleep in. It is my pseudo “time off”, I say pseudo, because while technically it is Dad that is in charge. He is usually distracted, and I usually end up disciplining via bedside, with my head under a pillow…. So, here I am 5:30 and my little darling is screaming for me. I attempted to pretend not to hear, but hubby dear shoved me hard enough I had to either sit up or fly off the bed. So, up the stairs I go to meet my fate. A little boy with a craving for cheerios…. Oh joy. And no he didn’t buy it that it was still night time. Ok, so yeah technically the kid is right. But he is the child, I am the parent. What I say goes... NOT. I did convince him to at least lay down with me in my bed. But it was very obvious that he was wide eyed and ready to crash my dreams. And he was indeed successful. There was a lot of things stuck into my ear, one of them being an Army Man, which I have since recovered. I think there was a wet finger at one point. Oh, and a Lego.

By 7:30 his brothers were up, and I could clearly hear the sounds of Gunfire and Army Commands wafting in from the playroom….. My little guy popped his head up, and was out the door in a flash. Five minutes later I was greeted with a demand for Breakfast. I redirected them to Dad, who was already up and in the dining room. And then I realized, wait, my son (the 9 year old) is grounded from video games. So, it was time to squash his fun.

Man did that kid try every trick in the book. There was the negotiating, which I learned long ago NOT to do. There were the “what did I do to get grounded?” questions. And the “but I don’t remember that” reaction to my answers. There was huffing and puffing, even some serious pouting, and of course the stink eye…. There was the playing one parent off the other. There was the fussing and talking loudly so I could hear his opinions on my parenting. And as a finale’, “THAT’S NOT FAIR!”. And here it was only 8am.

Attempt #2 to sleep in:

The door to our room sticks so usually I just shut the door if I don’t want to be disturbed. This however led our lovely 3 year old to use his body as a battering ram. After the first and failed attempt to blast through and grab my attention, I then heard his little feet scurry down the hall, and then scurry right back and finishing off with a nice bump off the door. Two or three good bumps into the door, and he had successfully infiltrated my peaceful solitude. He wanted to play mad birds on my phone, even offered to let me have a turn. By now, it was 8:05…

I did my best to stay in bed until 10:30. And they all did their best to squash that goal. The grounded son made the most attempts, as he was extremely bored. With his buddy at baseball practice and his beloved video games out of commission, he found himself with a lot of free time on his hands. There were plea bargains, serious inquiries to what offenses he had been accused of, and an aggressive defense strategy deny, bargain, deny, and revolt.  He finally found himself on KP duty, and I found myself up.

You would think my kids would avoid me, after such a trying morning. But no, they seem to be magnetically attracted to me, even at my most cranky of moments. Maybe I should just relinquish my duties, and allow a new sheriff into Nottingham……

There is a new sheriff in town......

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