Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Moments Of Mommy Failure

We all have them, on occasion.  In my experience these failures occur mostly when your brain is functioning faster than your body.  It's like your brain checks off the list of tasks before your body reacts to the order.

Like when you are attempting to get 4 kids into your car, all of their belongings, and your purse.  Check.  Check.  Doh!  Im sorry annoyed cashier person, my wallet is still at home........

Or, when you are in the process of cooking with your kids, and you have 8 busy hands "helping".  As you put ingredients away, you wonder why you have more eggs than anticipated.  20 minutes later you realize the eggs never made it into cupcakes, and you will be serving iced hockey pucks to Moops' class for his birthday......

And then there are those moments where you even plan AHEAD, are diligent about your actions and utilitize all OCD organizational tools available to you.  And maybe even, you get up 30 minutes early to insure you are on top of it all.  Only to greet your 5 year old as he steps off the bus wearing only a t-shirt in freezing temperatures.  You then sigh deeply and ask if he forgot his jacket at school.  He says "nope, I never had it", and you are totally perplexed.  And then as you walk in through your frontdoor, hanging to the left is his jacket.  The one you fished out in advance and set next to the door so you would not foget. 

Now, that is what is called a Mommy Fail.

These Mommy Fails are different than Daddy Fails.  For one, Moms tend to feel lifelong afflicted overwhelming guilt and shame for these missteps in parenting.  Dads, are less likely to feel guilty over these incidents, they shake it off and move on.

Now Daddy Fails, those are different.  And well, Dads probably do not consider them Fails either.  They view them more as anal retentive expectations bestowed upon them by their OCD PMSing Spouse....  Some good examples would be the little girl following Daddy through a store, wearing only her tights and top.  The skirt was determined excess and omitted from the previously arranged laid out ensemble left by the OCD PMSing Spouse.  Handing your 4 year old a can of fruit, instead of spooning fruit into bowl, the intention is to save yourself from having to wash dishes.  Your OCD PMSing Spouse does not agree. 

Now, if you will excuse me.  Izzy is in need of assistance with staying on task, of she will risk what is called a Homework Fail......

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